Sunday, February 19, 2012

Only One is worthy

The higher the pedestal you put someone on, 
the harder the fall if they let you down. ~ Anonymous

I ran into a woman from the group I currently facilitate at Costco today. The conversation was very uncomfortable for me as she put me on a pedestal. She told me all about how she looks up to me and I am such an inspiration to her. She thinks that I am so beautiful on the inside and outside. She thinks she can learn so much from me and really admires me. She's 63. I'm 30. 
All that I could say was that I just show up and God does the rest. 

It is not very often that I am admired - and not that I want to be - I just usually feel like I can't do anything right. Unworthy is a better word for it. The best word for it. It's a stronghold. My mind knows it is not true, but my heart doesn't always connect with it. 

I've put people on a pedestal before. One person in particular and it was because I felt so unworthy. Because I felt so unworthy, I imagined someone to be more than what they were. It was unfair to both of us. 
And, the fall was hard. 

There is One who is worthy of being on that pedestal. 
There is One who sits high on the throne. 

I do not need to put anyone else up there or have anyone put me up there. I am so grateful for that.
I just want to show up and let God do the rest. 
I just say "yes." 
I try to lean into what is hard and uncomfortable and allow the situations to grow my character. 
I don't always do it. Sometimes I withdraw and hide. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. 

When people take notice of me, I get uncomfortable with the complements. 

Maybe because I feel unworthy of them.
Maybe because I am unworthy of them.

There is One who is worthy, and though I am not, He still loves me.
And that is all I need. 

"All Glory, Honor, Power is Yours AMEN!"

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