Monday, July 30, 2012

Training myself to be present

I wrote a post early in the summer to say that I was going to take a break from technology to "be present" and I haven't. Well, I've taken a break from blogging, but I think that is the one avenue that I should've kept up.

I was really going to take down my Facebook page, but I started communicating with someone on there and chose to leave it up, thinking that I could retrain from posting and making it an "idol" by just talking. That didn't happen. In fact, I started posting more, being on it more and being online chatting more.

I finally did it. I gave a head's up that I wasn't going to be on Facebook as much and gave out my number...I stopped going on Facebook chat, but I was still posting. Facebook and I have had this love/hate relationship for a while now. Not that I think it is bad or has done anything awful in my life, I just feel like it is easy to hide from people on there while giving the impression that you are available. I desire intimate, in-person friendships, and for those who don't live close, there's phone, e-mail and texting. I often feel like I don't need to put the effort into communicating with anyone because they have already told me what is going on in their life through Facebook.

What I finally, FINALLY did was shut down my account for 30 the minimum. The only way for me to train myself to be present, to seek out opportunities to meet people in person (or over the phone) and to put value back into my relationships is to remove what is holding me back and gain the desire to be intentional again.

This first night has been difficult. I feel a little uncomfortable, which lets me know I did the right thing for me. I have my friend keeping me accountable through this (as always) so I don't slip up. I know my limits and my boundaries and this is one where I have a hard time drawing the line. Until Facebook and I can have a healthy relationship, we will have to part ways.

I will keep blogging though, so...I'M BACK!

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