Monday, June 11, 2012

When I fail...

Overwhelmed by Grace and unconditional Love is the only way to describe life right now. Overwhelmed is probably an understatement. For weeks God has been putting me into situations where I need to trust Him...more and more each time a bit of my walls have been broken down without me realizing it. Only now I see what has been hiding underneath. The walls I put up to protect myself are the same walls that have been hiding myself. Afraid to fail, I doubted the Love that never fails, even when I do. Afraid to fail in relationships, at work, in parenting, with finances...the underlying need to be perfect so I will be loved fed those fears. When the walls I put up keep people away and the times I isolate myself push people away, one thing remains and never gives up on me. For years I have known that I do not have to be perfect to be loved, but the walls around my heart couldn't let that truth in. No matter who tried to tell me in their own way, I doubted their truths and assigned the idea that they "had to say that" because they are my friend. I have been telling myself these lies and have been giving the enemy stronghold over my life.

Achieving perfection in any of those areas of my life will never fill the desire and craving in my heart for unconditional, unfailing love. There is only one Love that can be described as such and one Love that will reach deeper than I can see to fill the well of my heart. In being honest about these lies, I can finally freely bring my desires and cravings to Him - my thirst that can only be satisfied by His living water. Just this little taste of it has brought new life.

What a gift God has given us in that we get to experience His living Word so closely. The gift of knowing Him-not from a distance, but personally, and being known by Him-completely.

"We do this because our hearts were made to worship and find our worth in Him alone...By changing our focus to the Giver, we can then begin to look to Him for our identity and purpose. By worshiping Him for who He is, we remember how valuable we are in Him and to Him."

Seeing you as God sees you changes everything!

"It is a moment by moment, day by day experience where we process our thoughts, emotions and decisions with God, positioning our hearts to let His perspective redefine ours."

This is a journey God started me on a few years ago and I am seeing Him work until it is finished...a lifetime of growing more secure in His love, identifying myself in Him alone, and seeking Him and not the acceptance of this world.

The best gift is to be able to draw near to I AM just as I am.

-quotes from A Confident Heart by Renee Swope

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